Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me: If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
This is the only way I know how to correctly use a semi-colon ;)
Shoplifting is just undocumented shopping.