Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
I give myself the best presents.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
My chiropractor just told me that I`m well adjusted. See? Not everyone thinks I`m a total weirdo...
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
So does screaming at my son in Chuck E. Cheese because he won`t share his game tokens with me make me an evil person? Just kidding! I have no clue whose kid this is.
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.
Facebook should make it to where it says, `Went from being in a relationship` to `Problem solved.`
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist