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I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ”K” instead of ”OK”?
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
Thanks coffee for tricking us into believing that it`s a good morning for a few minutes.
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.