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Kinda bummed that every Christmas for the last 12 years, I`ve been way too drunk to remember all the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, I leaned my lesson. It`s time to get my act together for the family. This Christmas, I`m hiring a cameraman.
Match dot com, but for socks.
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
Here`s a list of the things I have to look forward to today: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Drinking after work
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
When my girlfriend texted me "I`m enjoying 5 guys in bed" I was quite surprised to arrive and find no hamburgers
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don`t even remember what he did anymore.