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With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
I talked to my mom, and she said she probably hadn`t had sex with any of you guys. Damn dirty liars.
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, mirrors, and photographs.
Timeouts just give children a quiet place to plot your murder.
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what Iām talking about.
Sobriety and I have agreed to see other people today
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.