Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point.
I’m really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta when cooking, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight…I got extra.
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
You say you don`t need to drink to have fun. All I`m hearing is designated driver.
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated.
Tupperware is so handy for those times when you feel like throwing out your food another day.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
My scars tell a story. A story about a guy who`s really f*cking clumsy.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.