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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
I´m the kind of person that when my feet hit the ground each morning the devil says, "OH CRAP, HE´S UP"!
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
In space they just call it "Jam"
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
I just read the words "untimely death" and thought, "Man, I hope my death is timely."
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
Sometimes the fact that bacon exists is enough.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie is romantic but do it on a bus and the judge doesn`t agree.
If I were the guy who made the Where`s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn`t there