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India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos.
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
So she asked me "Do these pants make my butt look big?" And I said, "Not at all dear .. its the fat that does that." So now I´m single again.
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
The key to a woman`s heart is making her laugh...just make sure she`s not laughing at the size of your junk.
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
It’s not pretty being easy.