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If you got up this morning and ran straight to fb i am 100% POSITIVE its because you missed me.
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
Your duty as a friend is to LIKE my Facebook posts even if they suck.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
Where 5 minutes becomes 5 hours. Facebook.
I hope I never go to jail because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2001
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
Why do they even offer 2014 as an option when selecting your birth date? Like you’re fresh out of the womb ready to join Gmail.
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
Dear Dr Phil, I was watching my next door neighbor`s wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was enjoying myself I turned to notice my lady was just standing there, arms folded...watching me. Is she a pervert?
Sir, no food allowed in the dressing rooms.` ... what, am I supposed to just guess the pop tart capacity of these cargo shorts before I buy?
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
Do you really have to breath that much?