Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."