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My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
I am so confused. My boss just said "keep up the good work" and I have no recollection of doing any such work.
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
My problem is that all food is comfort food
Singing in the shower is illegal according to this Ikea security guard.
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??