Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but neither does milk or orange juice.
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I`m afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.
Whenever somebody is murdered, the 1st person the police investigae is the spouse. That should tell you all you need to know about marriage.
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.
If someone invites you to their wedding, it`s apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can`t make it but I`ll come to your next one".