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What do you call a guy who makes "Woman in the Kitchen" jokes? Single.
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re my bartender & you say "This guy looks like he needs another double vodka martini" then please do..
Today is different because after you lie to someone, you tell them you were lying.
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
It saddens me to think that I`ll never be able to watch my own a$$ as I walk away :(
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
You should always love a woman for her personality. We have so many to choose from.
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".