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Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
How long do I have to stand in front of the microwave for to become a member of X-Men?
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."