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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
Currently helping my girlfriend look for her chocolates that I ate 5 hours ago...
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes… but we all know I’m Hilarious.
Of course I`m a good mother ... They`re still alive aren`t they.
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
I`ve been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don`t know how to tell her I forgot her name.
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data