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Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
When I was your age we had to open all doors by ourselves ... None of them knew we were coming.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
I`m perfect you adjust.
Can I apologize in advance for basically everything I will ever do???