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What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn`t make sandwiches? A compromise.
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
A man walks into a bar & orders a beer. He drinks it, looks in his pocket & orders another. This happens 7 more times. Bartender asks, "What`s in your pocket?" Man says, "I have a photo of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I`ll go home."
A true man is one who leaves his wife alone in cold weather and goes to watch football.
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
This patience thing takes forever.
The easiest way to escape a conversation is to interrupt the other person and say "this conversation is going great" every few seconds
Hey, sorry I`m late ... I didn`t want to come
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