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I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
Stretch pants are like Wonder Bras for your butt cheeks
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
She said she was stripping to feed her kids but then got pissed when I started throwing canned goods at her
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
Apparently people don`t like it when you lick your thumb and wipe all that black dirt off their forehead.