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I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
First the Jerk cut me off in traffic, then stole my parking space, then his stupid car got paint all over my key!
I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Divorce is expensive because its worth it.
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
Doormats are a gateway rug.