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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
The most terrifying thing a woman can say to me is "notice anything different?"
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone’s numbers again, I text them: β€œGuess who?” for 2 weeks.
I`ve been around the block a few times, but then my neighbor realized I was drunk and helped me into my house.
Another tragedy today in the music industry.....Justin Beiber was just found alive in his apartment. :(
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
I’m in no shape to exercise.
It was all so different before everything changed.
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.