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So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
Hold boobs not grudges.
I don`t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
Our neighbor said he wouldn`t mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
I feel sorry for people who take everything way too seriously.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.