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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
If you watch the Twilight movies backwards, Kristen Stewart still can`t act.
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
There`s no `i` in "Shut the f*ck up!"
Opening the Tupperware cupboard at home should be regarded as an extreme sport.
Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won`t go outside at all.
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
Sneezing when you pee is only recommended when you`re in a public toilet.