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Pizza is my favorite winter activity
I hate it when I buy organic veggies but when I get them home I find out they are regular frosted donuts...
A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
I have a moderate amount of skills in life, but one of those things does NOT include the ability to stop eating.
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.