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When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
The condoms need to be located in the baby aisle, next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word" is super-romantic. But the cops didn`t think so.
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.