Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Bored? Update your Facebook to “in a relationship” with someone you’ve never met just to see if they’ll confirm.
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
I’m bored enough to clean.
"Just Be yourself" is something I rarely hear from people who know me well.
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
Girl says to her Blonde friend, I slept with a Brazilian man last night. The Blonde replies: OMG you SLUT! How many is a Brazilian??
Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you`re like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you`re from Alabama)
When I get a prescription for drugs, I don`t ask, `Will it work? Are there any side effects?` No, it`s `Can I drink with these?`
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts.
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
Don’t judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughter’s night stand.
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."