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Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
My wife`s credit cards were stolen last week. I haven`t reported it yet though...because so far, they are spending less than she was.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane`s dog & she was like, "I`ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"
If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you’d never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else’s phone. Ever.
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?