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Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
I can totally relate to cranky elderly people. I mean you can only be nice for so long!
Little to no thought was put into this status.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
Looking back, it was a good thing I was too wasted to fire up the chainsaw.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
It`s amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?
I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.