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How do you know you`re old? ... Check your glove box for paper maps ...
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
Do you know what this house is missing? A box of $#!+, Let`s get a cat.
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
Don’t jump to confusions.
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
keep scrolling I`ve got nothing....
All of those in favor of bitch slapping stupid people, say "I"
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...