Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that.
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
Alcohol doesn’t make you fat… it makes you Lean… on tables, chairs & random ugly people.
Why don`t they just get Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail?
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.
If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo`s show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it`s Halloween because our family reunion was in July....