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Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
I lost an ibuprofen under my dresser a week ago and now I`m worried the spiders are coming after me with no headaches and renewed vigor.
She looks like the kind of girl that brings a suitcase on the first date.
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
Does this 50 pound bag of cat food make me look single?
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee`s you`re buying it off of sure can.
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.