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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
Corduroy boxing gloves deliver the best punchlines.
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
Maybe vodka is addicted to me
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
Next time a customer service rep asks “Is there anything else I can do for you?” whisper “Smile for the camera, I’m watching you” & hang up
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
Sometimes I zone out and forget what I’m supposed to be doing, and then I remember and take a drink of my beer.
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`
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