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Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
My favorite mythical creature is the happy b*tch in tampon commercials.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360
Technically, every picture is a before picture.