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There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
This is the earliest I have ever been late.
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
For lent, I`m giving up sexual innuendos but it`s hard... so hard!
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I`m making you up.
I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends.
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
I just changed my relationship status from β€œleft hand” to β€œright hand”…
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
Question everything...Or should you?
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.