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Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
I asked my kid “do you know why we have a Thanksgiving holiday?” He said, “Sure! It’s so we know when to start Christmas shopping!”
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
Unless your name is “Google”, stop acting as if you know everything!
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.