Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus and a recovery room where they have clear print.
I`m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn`t work out
Is beer cheaper on cyber monday?
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
I solve all my problems by creating three new ones as distractions.
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!