Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
Men are a lot like kids, if you want to shut them up, put a boob in their mouth.
As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you are getting hit on by an ulgy ass hole in a bar.
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
I live in constant fear that someone will kidnap my mother in law who lives all alone at 48 W Main St, bldg C, Apt 32 on the 3rd floor.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it`s an intervention.
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let`s negotiate.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.
I can`t turn water into wine, but I can turn vodka into dinner