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The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
I like the part of the day when food happens.
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”