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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
If I won the lottery, I don`t think I would change much. I`d still be the same asshole, just one in a helicopter.
It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
Liking something on Facebook instead of commenting is like nodding at someone in an elevator instead of saying hello.
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
My relationship is like an iPhone, I don`t have an iPhone.
As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it`s important that you lower your expectations.
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.