Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
I donate blood 5 times a year just so I`m less and less related to some of my relatives.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego
Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
Every woman needs a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to lean on and a shoulder to hold her bra strap on!!!
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
All of my selfies are just still shots from surveillance footage.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.