Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
Dear Santa, I would like a thin body and a fat bank account. Don’t mix it up this year!
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
Does "who cares" count as advice?
Today I saw a cat with three legs, which was much better than finding the alternative, just a cat`s leg.
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.