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Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they`re transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise.
My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home.
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
When someone tells you they are getting a divorce, a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told, twice now.
Damn, it`s like these people have never seen anyone bring a flask to the gym before.
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer.
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.