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Redneck word of the day: Twerk "Imma have one more beer then imma get back twerk!"
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
Cashiers are always checking me out.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
Today I saw a cat with three legs, which was much better than finding the alternative, just a cat`s leg.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
Whenever you`re powerless, remember: A single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a restaurant.
The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn`t seem to be having the desired affect.
Common sense has become so rare it should be classified as a superpower.
Sometimes you just need to do something stupid while sober so that people will leave you alone about your drinking.