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Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Starting to believe I`m trouble
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
I don`t like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that.
You know what’s worse than slow internet? NOTHING.
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats
No matter how old you are, If a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to die.
The two major causes of depression are: a) having a job, and b) not having a job.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.