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I wear a cape when I`m driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I`m going somewhere to fight crime.
Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
Happy "Another excuse to drink" Day!
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
I`m more of a "the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces" person.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!"
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.