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Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
My friend sent his wedding invitation from Facebook Event. I sent him a gift from Farmville.
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
It`s a beautiful day. I think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit
Hello...
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
I once ran a Half Marathon. Well, I say that because it sounds better than saying I collapsed and almost died halfway through a Full Marathon.
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!