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Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
I almost got raped in jail last night. My family takes Monopoly very seriously.
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
When people ask for my advice, I advise them not to take my advice. That really screws them up.
The Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I`m thinking taco cart...
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
facebooked yo mama!!!
Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?
If the government shutdown effected alcohol or internet porn they`d have this sh!t fixed by tomorrow morning.
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]