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All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
This day is only a margarita away from being a good one.
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
Iām not the friend you put on speaker phone.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
Right now my glass is half empty...Hey Bartender!!!
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
If you`re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.