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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
My dog is a typical guy, I talk to him and he’s all wagging his tail, but I know he’s not listening. I get it ladies.
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
I’m awkward when people compliment me. “Nice hair” “Thanks, I grew it myself”
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?