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It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
Does anyone have like twenty thousand dollars they don’t want? Asking for myself.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza.....and then insist that he called me
Impressing the McDonald’s drive thru people with my music is always a top priority.
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.
I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.