Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
A lot of talk from the peasants lately about my arrogance.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
THESE NACHOS ARE THE BOMB! …..and that’s how I got my nachos taken away at the airport.
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!"
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.