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You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
I wonder how long I can keep "eating for two" before people notice I`m not actually pregnant.
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
Got kicked out of the hospital. Apparently the “head nurse” is just the one in charge of the other nurses.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
Last night we were in bed and I asked my wife "What would you like to do to my body more than anything else?" She said "Identify it."
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman and neither one works.
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
When the kids come home from school they close the door then almost immediately open another door..... The one to the fridge!!!!