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Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
My panic room is a walk-in beer cooler at the liquor store.
Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not nearly as funny when you live by yourself.
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
I could do so much more if I only had minions.
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
It`s going to be so disappointing if we ever ask aliens about crop circles and they`re just like, "We really hate corn."
Is it annoying when people answer their own questions? Yes it is. Do I wish they would stop? Absolutely.
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.