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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
The only Spanish phrase you need to learn is, "I know you guys are talkin sh*t about me."
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
Back in my day, we didn’t have computers or the internet. Everyone had to walk uphill for days to tell me I’m an a$$hole.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
Chase you? ... B!tch please, I don`t even chase my liquor.
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.
It´s never to late to be happy
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.