Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The best nicknames are the ones you don’t even know you have.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come to work
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
Therapy helps ... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
There`s never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself " thank god the cops are here"
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
You have got to have worse hand-eye coordination than a lama on crack
Exaggerations went up a million percent last year.
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
Sarcasm is wasted on the idiots who inspire it.
Darn right I’m good in bed. ...I can sleep for days.
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.