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Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
Work like you don`t have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
Never go on a blind date with a friend! She was so big when i took her home she went to my backyard and started grazing.
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.