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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn`t have said.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.
I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
BEFORE I GET DRUNK, NAKED,THROWN IN JAIL AND LOOSE MY DAMN PHONE. *HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
Farts are just ghosts of things that we ate. ;D
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
Make librarians cry by calling it a Book Museum while taking pictures with your iPad.
And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.