Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please ignore this post, I`m pretending to be adding a coworker`s phone number.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
Instead of calling it the John, I call my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
My pants are 75% off.
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
There should be a law requiring you to explain what gluten is before you’re allowed to complain about it.
9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?