Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
Does it count as saving someone`s life if you just refrain from killing them?
Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
Be good to your nieces and nephews. One day you`ll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home.
If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you`re the worst employee at a toy factory
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children’s bicycle, you’re probably in a bad neighborhood.
It must be very hard to be a Nigerian lawyer who specializes in international inheritance law.
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
Don’t judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughter’s night stand.
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.