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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
Worry: a waste of imagination.
Salad tastes pretty good once you add some pizza and get rid of the salad.
Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do
I was struggling,trying to figure out how lightning works .....then it struck me!
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
There`s a lot of perks being a single parent, for one no witnesses.
I think today I`m going to cut off the sleeves of my snuggie and walk around the neighborhood pretending I`m in a Clint Eastwood western movie.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
Friends are like condoms… they protect you when things get hard.
Today feels like a stay in bed, pull the blankets over your head, and pretend you`re on an adventure in a kangaroo`s pouch type of day
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.