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The difference between “like” “love” and “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now” “for a while” and “forever”
More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
Bored? Find group photo of 4 women. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
Sometimes I feel that I need someone special to complete me, but then I have a pizza and I`m like, "Nope. I`m good."
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.
Fast way to mess up someones Knock Knock joke? "It`s open."
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
Be nice to your kids. They get to choose your nursing home.
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!