Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen.
I`d like to have a kid but I`m not sure I`m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where their shoes are.
HR and I apparently disagree on what "debriefed" means.
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a break and enter.
I feel like people who don`t have at least one bottle of expired salad dressing in the fridge, really have their lives together.
As I get older, I`ve learned to relax and not stress over trivial matters. Just kidding, I`m drunk.
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.