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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
There`s no WE in pizza.
Printing an expiration date on a bag of Cheetos is just a waste of ink.